tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I smell like Dick and happiness
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