Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Randomize
