yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm determined to sit on that face.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
