i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
