So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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