so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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