I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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