gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize