I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
