i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
