he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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