you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
