but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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