yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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