so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I CAN MOONWALK!
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
