I CAN MOONWALK!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
