So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
