? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
