Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
