Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
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