i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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