We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Sext me about skeletons
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
