he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
