Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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