Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
