i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
