just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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