I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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