I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
