have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
