dude i'm inner monologue high
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
