My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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