You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize