What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
