I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
