you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize