Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
