you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
