totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Randomize
