Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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