I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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