my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The best revenge is premature balding
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
