That's intense
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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