he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize