he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
