If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
