I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
