you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You're a waste of cheezeits
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
