You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
