Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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