clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
