My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
