so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize