i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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