you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I need moral support for this bender
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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