This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
