so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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