Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
