Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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