Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
