i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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